i used to be

1. someone's Lois Lane

that is so lame. i know. she wasn't even beautiful or smart or funny, especially the one that Teri Hatcher portrayed with Dean Cain on tv3 not so long ago. (sorry cW darl!) i don't even know why i was compared to Lois Lane. but it made me feel so happy and glowy back then. i waited everyday to hear those familiar words down the phone. "Apa Lois Lane saya buat hari ni?" (What did my Lois lane do today?) and it meant so much coz it came from him. it wasn't easy going thru life at 17 knowing that he's with someone else... and you were about 25minutes too late, to quote Michael Learns to Rock. me and my sappy old rock/ballad smush:
but just to clarify, he was never my Clark Kent. how stupid would that have been??!

2. a perfect size 10

oh, those were the days. i'd get into trouble then with Mr. Abu. "i think you have worms, your collarbones are sticking out... i'm taking you to the doctor in KL next week." what? he actually thought i had worms? that's my dad for you. i wasn't sickly skinny. i was just nice for my age. in school friends were pinching me left and right after PE, and pinching their waists after. i remember my Economics teacher, one day, when she was feeling extremely chatty, told us her 'stay slim' secrets (she wasn't actually slim, she was more like Marilyn Monroe, so glamorous with her wacky outfits that transcended beyond the usual baju kurung). one of the secrets i can still remember is to drink a glass of peria juice, straight up, no sugar, no ice, no nothing, blended all on its own, at least once a week. the twins asked if they could do it every day for a month, and i was asking how successful it was when my teacher said "u takpayah buatlah, i can guarantee u takkan gemuk punya tengok badan u sekarang" (u don't have to do it, i'll guarantee u won't put on weight ever based on how u are now). and the twins were giving me evil looks with the rest of the gang.
Hah! if they can only see me now.

3. all he ever wanted

don't get me wrong. i'm sure Biskut wants me still. but we're getting so comfortable in this nook of ours that nothing is new anymore. i don't want us to be stuck in this rut. i still want to be the girl he fell for, the girl he spent 400pounds on a phone bill once, the girl who 'stole' a boat with him, the girl who taught him the meaning of strawberry yogurt, the girl who couldn't skate... i just feel imperfect now... what with me putting on weight, and getting older... and our priorities changing with the responsibilities we face now. as much as i love 'desperate housewives' on tv, i don't want to be like them yet... i haven't even finished my 'f.r.i.e.n.d.s' and 'sex and the city' eras yet!

the list goes on, too sad to carry on atm: