silly people

i guess if you've never worked in customer service, you would never know the joys of communication and interaction it allows you to participate in everyday of your career. it's an absolute joy to have experienced and take part in.

i lie.

being at the HQ for almost a year now i've lost count of how many people find it acceptable to shout down the telephone, purposely waking up as early as 8am (that's when the lines open) on a Saturday morning, and proceed to wait in line for up to 15minutes for that elusive once in a lifetime grab it while you can moment of being able to rant and moan and bitch and shout and scream at another human being as appropriate behind the strong shield of the telephone. maybe all the years of obediently forming a queue for everything has snapped the British public's patience.

my afternoon after a lousy lunch (no surprises there at the HQ, sometimes they don't try as hard anymore) was interrupted by a call from a calm gentleman at first, but soon flew into a screaming rage and spitting blood as the call progressed. i sat there listening for an attentive 8mins (my stats are shot every Saturday because everybody calls at the weekend since they have more time to blether).

this guy didn't want to give us his name, and has tried many times before, waiting for a tired agent to finally give up and just give him what he wants. honourably he does want a good thing, which is to pay off his bill for a certain period. now the pickle lies in the name used for the account. as it's not his name we can't divulge how much he needs to pay, and he wants to pay so bad but can't as he doesn't want to give us his name. so he's been shot backwards and forwards in the game some agents call "ping pong for the uninitiated". at least that's what i think they call it.

this morning alone he's been transferred, pushed, prodded and bounced from one office to another when all he wants to do is pay his bill. now i've had people in the past who wanted pay their bills but the name doesn't match theirs. as long as they know how much it is they're paying for then we won't have any problems to process the payment. this guy not only doesn't know how much he's supposed to pay but he's asking for a separate bill to be sent out in the name of the occupier. now it strikes me everytime somebody calls and does this because when they first moved in to the property it's just a phone call away to sort stuff out properly for the future. when people have stuff to hide, and try to worm their way out later, that's when all the fun begins...

so now this guy is extremely angry, effing and blinding here, sometimes interrupting his own thinking processes to answer his mobile/the door/his barking dog in the background when clearly he won't get anywhere. he starts to say that if we took him to court he would win as he was trying to pay in the first place, and the only reason why we need to know his blessed name is so we can earn commission from it. bloody valencia oranges now i'm starting to think that i've got Elton John on the phone. the answer is still the same: no, i'm sorry sir, but i can't do that.

8minutes passed, my team is listening in, i'm doodling silly faces on my papers.. and he ends the call by saying that he doesn't want our service anyway and we won't hear from him anymore as he'll ignore the bills. all this, on a lovely Saturday afternoon, where the sun is shining outside and undoubtedly where he is he'd benefit from a picnic in the gardens or something to that effect. and still he can't get the bill he wants so bad.

lucky us!

unlucky for him, I know where he lives.

that's always the one cardinal rule people forget when calling the HQ.